Need Time to Heal
by BloodlinesFan
Summary: Arlette Lewis has escaped from the laboratory that the Souls have held her captive in for months. When she reunites with her father and brother, who have merged with another rebel group, they realize that she is not the same girl she was. Can they help heal her? Or will she stay this broken, lost girl? And why can't the Souls invade her body? READ AND FIND OUT!
1. Prologue

**Prologue: Need Time To Heal**

**Arlette**

Even before the Souls hand invaded the Earth, my life had consisted of running. The difference was that before it had been metaphorical and now it was my reality. Each and every day, I was looking behind my shoulder, searching for silver ringed orbs, sighing in relief when I didn't see any.

I've been apart from my father and brother for three hundred and sixty days. From my mother, even longer than that. Of course if I had it my way, I'd be reunited with them. But this wasn't my world anymore. It wasn't even my life because I didn't choose this. I would never choose this.

My mother had been taken when I was thirteen. At the time, no one had known about the Souls invading Earth since they didn't arrive with a BANG! like so many of those Sci-Fi novels I used to read had anticipated. They arrived quietly, nimbly, barely a whisper of their arrival heard. We had thought, at the time, that she had run away. As much as it had hurt to think she had left us, I wished that had been the case. That was easier to accept than this grim reality.

When we were finally alerted to the presence of the Souls, my father had taken my brother and I and we ran. We had been on the run for almost a year before we miraculously found a group of humans.

At first, we hadn't noticed they had a Soul with them. We had been so overjoyed at the sight of them that when we did notice him, all our joy vanished and we immediately responded to the threat.

My brother and father had guns while I had a hunting knife, which I thought was completely unfair. We each pulled out our weapons while, Nate, their leader explained their situation to us. It took a while, but eventually, we lowered our weapons. We followed them to their safe house, which was deep in the forest of Montana and underground. I hated it, seeing as I was claustrophobic, but I didn't really have another choice.

For months, we were safe and no problems occurred. We had friends who basically became our second family. Burns became a second brother to me. Everything was great, spectacular actually. Then I was kidnapped.

It was a normal raid. In fact, everything went smoothly until we were headed back. To this day, I'm still not sure what had happened. All I know is that one second we were alone, the next we were surrounded. Everything had happened so fast, it was a blur. I was knocked unconscious and then I woke up in a white room, strapped down and stripped naked with just a thin sheet covering my body.

Those months I spent in their laboratories were the worst of my life. For some inexplicable reason, Souls weren't able to invade my body at all; they died trying. The Souls had no answer and I certainly didn't.

I thought they would kill me but they were intrigued by my body's resistance. They wanted to experiment and see whether it was a physical or mental resistance. They never did find out. One day, they didn't secure my straps tight enough and I took my chance.

Maybe there still was a God somewhere in this hellhole performing miracles but I certainly didn't question it.

I ran and never looked back. I didn't have a destination in mind; I didn't know where to go. I had no idea if my brother and father were still in the deep undergrounds of Montana but I still had to check. No such luck and I began to despair. Then I just got used to being alone. I convinced myself that it was easier and safer because it actually was. I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself. It was easier to survive by myself.

So that's how I lived for almost a year; mostly in the forests, scavenging in the homes of Souls when they left their homes. It was actually pretty peaceful. I was surviving. I was fine. But I was broken. I don't think there was any way to repair the lasting damage the Souls had done to me. I woke up most nights, screaming in terror from memories of the laboratory.

This is the story of how I slowly, and not without obstacles, mended. This is the story of how I fixed myself with the help of special people. This is the story of a sixteen year old girl who lets her facade down and lets people in.

This is my story.

**A/N: So this is just a vague prologue. I promise that the story will be much more in detail and will answer any questions you might have after reading this (i.e. what did she run from before?, how was she kidnapped?, how did she escape?, etc…)**

**Oh, and this will be alternating between POV's of Jamie Stryder and Arlette Lewis (my character). **

**This story will contain familiar faces from The Host and also my own original ones. I guess you can call this the "sequel" to The Host. **


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Jamie**

My sister was the only person in the entire world who could make me laugh when I was in one of my pissy moods. Unfortunately, after she got me out of these moods, she would start playing my therapist and demand what was wrong and whose ass did she need to kick. It was endearing and annoying at the same time.

"Jamie, dammit. Tell me who pissed you off," Melanie said, crossing her arms and glaring at me.

"No one did," I responded. "I'm just pissed that I don't get to go on a raid anymore. Ever since Nate's group came you guys have pushed me completely out of everything. You guys barely let me out of here for some fresh air. It's suffocating."

Melanie's lips parted in surprise. "I didn't know that's how you felt. I just thought it was redundant since we had plenty more people now."

I sighed. It was hard for me to be angry for very long, especially at her.

"I just...I wanna go on a raid, okay? Please."

I felt like a child, begging for his parents to give him candy and not giving in until I got what I wanted. But I was telling the truth when I said it was suffocating staying here. Not because I didn't have anything to do, only school with Sharon, but, well, I sort of had an admirer.

She was part of Nate's original rebel group but since we merged we were all just one big happy family. Her name was Sarah and she was the typical beautiful, American looking girl. Blue eyes, blond hair. Nothing wrong with that, of course. There was just nothing that stood out about her.

Or maybe I was being mean.

To make matters worse, Jared and Ian constantly teased me about it and Melanie and Wanda were always telling me to ask her out. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I didn't like her. So instead, I ignored them and her as much as I could. It was hard because Sarah was a determined little thing. She pestered me almost as much as my own sister. She always sat next to me in class and in the kitchen and everywhere. I could barely breathe with her around.

"Come one. Let's go eat. The guys will be back soon and I'll talk with Jared about letting you go out on the next raid," Melanie said, startling me out of my thoughts. I agreed and got up and followed her out into the hallway.

We walked side-by-side in companionable silence until we reached the kitchen. Uncle Jeb was there along with a few others which was a mix of our original group and the new one.

Alex, and his son, Raymond were there sitting together, eating silently. I always felt a pang of sadness when I looked at them. We all knew the story of how their daughter, Arlette, had been taken by the Souls. Raymond's mother, Roberta, had also been taken before anyone had been made aware of the arrival of the Souls.

They mostly kept to themselves; the only other person they talked to, besides each other, was Burns and sometimes Nate. I turned away and noticed that Sharon was sitting next to Doc and she was smiling at something he said to her. At their side, Burns was talking to Sarah. She caught me staring and gave me a huge grin and wave. Melanie bumped her shoulder into mine and gave me a smirk, which I ignored.

I got my plate of food and sat down next to Wanda who gave me a smile I returned. Melanie sat next to us and we ate, only breaking the silence between us to make small talk. It was nice.

Sarah, whom I had been studiously ignoring, surprised me when she sat down across from me. She gave me her movie star smile.

"Hey, Jamie. I was wondering if you wanted to go over the notes from class earlier today?" she asked brightly.

"Of course he would," answered Melanie. I gave her a glare that she didn't notice.

"That's great," replied Sarah, getting up and bouncing away.

I turned around, ready to unleash my anger on her, when there was a commotion at the end of the hall. It was Jared, Ian, Blake, Tom and a few others. They'd come back from the raid. Melanie jumped up from her seat and ran into Jared's arms, kissing him full on the mouth. I couldn't help but smile, no matter how annoyed I was at the moment with her. Ian walked straight towards Wanda, ruffling my hair on the way, and picked her up in a hug. He twirled her around causing her to shriek and grip his shirt tightly. He laughed and kissed her softly.

"Hey there," he said softly.  
"Hey yourself," she replied, kissing him back enthusiastically, making me turn away in embarrassment. I was happy that they were happy; that didn't mean that I wanted to witness their happiness.

"Hey kiddo," said Jared, giving me a hug.

"Hey weirdo," I replied with a grin. His hand shot out to grab me in a chokehold but I evaded him easily and hid behind Melanie.

"Hiding behind your sis? That's pathetic," he teased.

"What's pathetic is that you're too scared of my sister to try and grab me," I shot back.

He shook his head and laughed. "I'm not scared of her."

"Oh, really?" There was amusement in Melanie's voice. "Then come and get him."

"Alright kids, break it up," said Uncle Jeb, laughing. "There's work to do. You can play later."

There were groans of disappointment but everybody obeyed. Robert walked up to Ian and pulled him off to the side.

He always asked the same question every time he came back from a raid: Did they see Arlette?

I saw Ian shake his head apologetically and Robert turned away, his shoulders tensed with disappointment. My heart went out to the guy. I remember hoping that I would see Melanie every time I went out on a raid and always having that crushing disappointment when I didn't. But I got my sister back and life was perfect right now. I hoped that Robert and his dad got their happy ending.

"So kid, Melanie here tells me that you got a hot date tonight," said Jared with a big smile. I wanted to smack it off his face.

I frowned at my sister. "It's not a date. It's just studying. And I didn't even volunteer for it, she set me up."

"I would never," Melanie said innocently. "You would have said yes anyway."

That was true. As much as I hated her crush on me, I wouldn't have been able to say no. I couldn't be mean like that; it went against my nature.

I sighed. "Whatever."

I left them grinning and went to go help the others with bringing in the food and materials they had gotten on the raid. I inspected the elements. There was an assortment of mainly food with other things like: deodorant, shampoo and conditioner, toothpaste, some clothes and condoms. I blushed slightly at the last item.

Ignoring it, I began to collect the food and left the other items to the rest. I walked down to the area we kept the food stored and walked out-almost running over Sarah. I reached out and grabbed her before she fell.

"I'm so sorry," she exclaimed. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you or anything."

I smiled slightly. "It's alright. No harm done, as you can see."

She smiled in relief. "Yeah, I guess. Thank you for catching me."

"No problem," I said, trying to step around her.

"Jamie, wait." She caught a hold of my hand, causing me to halt and turn back. She was looking at me expectantly with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"I just want to make sure that you're alright with studying with me? Your sister answered me and I just wanted to know if you're cool with it?"

I could have blown her off and I almost did. But she looked so nervous and I just couldn't. I sighed.

"It's fine, Sarah. Honestly."

She smiled and jumped up and down before throwing herself at me. I froze as her hands came around my neck in an embrace. I didn't know what to do. It felt awkward, especially considering the height difference. She barely came up to my chin.

She seemed to notice my discomfort and pulled back. "I'm sorry. I just get a little over-enthusiastic sometimes."

I shrugged and tried to reassure her it was fine. "No big deal. We should head back before they start to think we're eating all the food."

She laughed and walked with me out of the cave. We came to a halt when we saw that everybody was in the field. No one seemed to notice us; they all appeared to be busy setting up chairs.

My eyebrows drew together in confusion and I walked over to where Ian, Wanda, Melanie and Jared were all seated. Sarah didn't follow me for which I was grateful.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We're going to have a campfire night," said Wanda with bright eyes. Ian smiled softly at her and absently curled a lock of hair around his fingers.

"The real question is what were _you_ doing?" asked Jared in an amused tone.

"Nothing," I said.

"Really? Then why did you and Sarah come out from the cave at the same time?"

I rolled my eyes and sat down on one of the chairs. "We were eating the food. The cheetos were excellent."

That last part was to piss off Ian since he always got them for Wanda. It worked; he turned and gave me a glare. I just smiled angelically.

I was distracted by the sight of Robert coming over to where we were with a guitar. I usually never saw him unless it was time to eat and even that was rare. He sat close to us and gave us a nod.

He began to strum his guitar and tuning it. I hadn't known he played.

I looked around and saw Nate looking at him sadly. Next to him was Burns, who didn't have any expression on his face. He was staring blankly at the floor.

I turned away and stared down at my hands. People began to settle down in the chairs and once everyone was seated, Uncle Jeb cleared his throat causing all the talking to cease.

"Today is New Year's Eve. And yes, I still follow the days of the calendar." I was surprised. I hadn't thought about time at all since the Souls invaded Earth. All I knew was when it was day or night because of the sun and moon. I didn't really care about months or days and all that. It made perfect sense though, that Uncle Jeb still cared about that sort of thing.

"I thought it'd be nice to celebrate it and to have resolutions for ourselves. And to be together," he finished.

Nobody said a thing.

"Alright. I'll start," he said. He scratched his beard absently and looked deep in thought. "I hope to be able to live in a world where there is no separation." He didn't elaborate on what he meant by that and I didn't really want to analyze what he meant.

We went clockwise, everybody sharing their hopes and wishes for the new year. There was a shift in the atmosphere when it was Robert's turn. He didn't acknowledge that he realized it was his turn and I saw Jared open his mouth, probably thinking he didn't have anything to say.

But then his head snapped up and he closed his eyes.

"I hope to be able to forgive myself," he said softly, so softly I barely heard him.

I wanted to say something, anything, to comfort him but didn't have the words. Plus, I didn't know him all that well.

After a moment's pause, Jared spoke about his hopes and dreams and then Melanie, then Ian and Wanda until it was my turn. With all eyes on me, I realized that I had no idea what I wanted. I felt like my life was fine at the moment. I had my sister back, whom I thought I'd never see again. I had Jared back, not the angry Jared that had appeared after Melanie's kidnapping, but the happy one who smiled too much. And I got another sister in Wanda.

Taking a deep breath, I just stated the truth.

"I want everybody to be happy." It was such a simple sentence, a simple wish but it meant everything to me. You couldn't afford to be sad in this world. You had to have hope, faith, something or else what was the point of it all? What was the point of fighting if you had nothing left in you?

I could see that my words left an impact on people, especially Burns. I'd never spoken to him before but now he was blatantly staring at me. He looked like I'd given him a treasure.

When we came full circle back to Jeb, he nodded towards Robert. Robert already had his guitar on but didn't start playing immediately.

"This is Arlette's guitar. She loves playing it. But this is her favorite because when she was 9 I took her to The Cab concert and we had backstage passes. When we went backstage, she asked the guitarist, Alex Marshall, to sign her backpack. Instead, he gave her his guitar and signed it. She almost fainted. She didn't even know the band but after that she researched them like crazy and made sure she knew every lyric to every song." There were tears brimming in his eyes now but he had a soft smile on his face.

"She was always playing their songs and she said they inspired her to write her own. And she did. Her favorite song is Living Louder which I'll be playing tonight. I'm not half as good as she is but I'll try."

I wonder if he knew he was talking about her in present tense.

He began to strum the chords on the guitar and I listened intently to the words.

_If today's the day I die_

_Lay me down under the lights_

_Let me fall in love_

_Let me save a life_

_And let me lose my voice_

_Singing all my favorite songs_

_Let me stare up at the stars_

_'Cause it's where we all belong_

_My heart like a firework in my chest_

_My only regret is having regrets_

_Travelled the world_

_I loved every step_

_And all I know is:_

_No one, no one lives forever_

_We will be remembered_

_For what we do right now_

_And baby I'm living louder_

_And dreaming longer, tonight_

_(We're living louder, we're living louder)_

_And baby I'm fighting harder_

_And loving stronger tonight_

_(We're loving stronger, we're loving stronger)_

_'Cause we're all just kids_

_Who grew up way too fast_

_Yeah the good die young_

_But the great will always last_

_We're growing older_

_But we're all soldiers tonight_

_If today's the day I go_

_Gonna drink with all my friends_

_Gonna laugh until we cry_

_As we talk and reminisce_

_And let me kiss a stranger_

_And rob the local bank_

_Let me become real rich_

_So I can give it all away_

_'Cause no one, no one lives forever_

_But we will be remembered_

_For what we do right now_

_And baby I'm living louder_

_And dreaming longer, tonight_

_(We're living louder, we're living louder)_

_And baby I'm fighting harder_

_And loving stronger tonight_

_(We're loving stronger, we're loving stronger)_

_'Cause we're all just kids_

_Who grew up way too fast_

_Yeah the good die young_

_But the great will always last_

_We're growing older_

_But we're all soldiers tonight_

_When you've got your breath inside your head_

_Every day's a second chance_

_If I wake up with a beating heart_

_Will I stand or will I fall?_

_I'm living louder_

_Dreaming longer tonight_

_Baby I'm fighting harder_

_And loving stronger tonight_

_And baby I'm living louder_

_And dreaming longer tonight_

_(We're living louder, we're living louder)_

_And baby I'm fighting harder_

_And loving stronger tonight_

_(We're loving stronger, we're loving stronger)_

_'Cause we're all just kids_

_Who grew up way too fast_

_Yeah the good die young_

_But the great will always last_

_We're growing older_

_But we're all soldiers tonight_

The last note seemed to hang in the air. I thought about the words and realized, ironically, how it could be applied to the life we were currently living. For some odd reason, I wanted to know what Arlette loved about this song. What was it that drew her into this song? Why was it her favorite?

There were people thanking Robert for sharing that song with them. I sort of wanted to thank him too but thought that'd be a bit awkward. Instead, I stayed in my seat, talking with those around me. Mainly my sister, Jared, Ian and Wanda.

After a while, Sarah came up to me and asked me where should we go to study over our lesson from today. I suggested we go to the game room and we walked there silently. I ignored the snickers from Ian and Jared.

We spent about two hours talking about Shannon's lesson and in that time I seriously considered suicide. Or perhaps something less drastic, like falling down a five story building and slipping into a coma.

Sarah kept trying to change the subject from studying to subtly hinting at how much she would appreciate a walk with someone outside to stargaze.

It was painfully obvious that she wanted me to ask her out but I played the stupid teenage boy and claimed ignorance. She seemed down in spirits when she left but it didn't make me feel that bad. Okay, maybe a bit but not enough to go and ask her out.

I retired back to my room and fell back onto my bed immediately without changing. My thoughts kept drifting back to the campfire and that song. Mostly I thought about Arlette.

I never really thought about her before but now I was curious to know what she was like. All because of that song. It was weird and I chalked it up to being exhausted.

I rolled over and stuffed my face into my pillow. My last thought was of a nine year old girl getting a signed guitar from a famous icon.

**A/N: Not much going on here. But I promise it gets better by chapter 3 or maybe 4. I just want to get the story set up. Oh, and you guys should pay attention to the part where Jamie is thinking about how "people should be happy otherwise what is the point". That is a constant theme throughout this story. **

**Next chapter is through Arlette's eyes and I'm warning you now: It's much darker and depressing. **

**Anyways, read and review please? Tell me your honest thoughts and opinions. I love reading them .**


	3. Chapter 2

**This chapter contains thoughts of suicide and is pretty dark, so proceed with caution.**

Chapter 2: Arlette

Maybe I should have learned a long time ago that life was never going to be easy for me. Maybe around the time my mother got kidnapped. Or maybe when I was kidnapped.

Maybe I should just do myself a favor and fling myself off a cliff. But no matter how desperate things became or how depressed I got, I still lived.

I didn't know why. I gave up hope a long time ago that I'd find my brother and father. I came to terms with the fact that I was alone and that's the way it was.

I shook my head and tried not to think of such dark things but it was hard. It was hard when I was all by myself with no one to talk to, I was stuck inside my mind. It was a terrible place to be so I tried to keep myself as busy as possible.

I was currently setting up camp in some forest, somewhere that I didn't really care to know. I sighed and twisted my neck to the side, hearing a satisfying crack. I took off my sweaty tank top and laid it out on a branch nearby, making a mental note to wash it after dinner.

Dinner consisted of a squirrel I caught earlier. I washed it as thoroughly as possible and then started a fire. I only got one splinter as I rubbed the two pieces of wood together, which I considered a victory. I usually got about a dozen, making my hand swell.

As I waited for the squirrel to be thoroughly cooked, I thought about my brother, Robert, whose brown eyes would crinkle at the corners at my stupid jokes, or how he'd scowl when I would ruffle his perfectly styled blonde hair.

I thought about my dad who loved joking around with my mother and how he was so carefree with my brother and I. Then I remembered the blank look in his eyes as he realized his wife had been kidnapped. His green eyes never shined as brightly after; they had a dull quality to them that always made my heart feel like there was a hand squeezing it.

I turned the squirrel absently to get the other side cooked well. I stared into the flickering flames and my hand reached out on its own accord. The closer my hand got, the more I could feel the heat emitting from it.

Strangely, it wasn't uncomfortable. It was getting painful, sure, I still felt pain after all.

But I felt no discomfort in it. I brought my hand until it was directly over the flames and held it there until I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and walked over to the lake and held it underwater. I gritted my teeth at the sting but otherwise, I was fine.

I caught my reflection in the water. I looked the same but there was something haunting about it. My cheeks were hollow and I was extremely pale, a sick pale. It made my emerald eyes seem larger on my too thin face. My thick black hair hung around my face and I rolled back on my heels so I wouldn't have to look at myself.

I already knew how damaged I was on the inside; I didn't want to see how broken I was on the outside, too. I rubbed the stray tear that had fallen onto my cheek furiously with my recently burned hand, and welcomed the pain.

I looked at my hand and knew it was going to scar. It was already transforming into a scab. I took a deep breath to hold myself together and walked back to my campsite.

I ate quickly, seeing as it was becoming dark, and slid out of my jeans. I grabbed my shirt off the branch and took both items back to the lake and washed them, rubbing the dirt and grime off of them. They were the only clothes I had on me.

I hung them on the tree nearest to me after and I laid down on the ground. It wasn't that hard or maybe I was just used to it. It took me a while to fall asleep because I already knew what to expect the moment I slept. The last thing I saw before darkness overtook me was a bright flash across the sky, that reminded me of a shooting star.

It started out the same as all my nightmares: I was back in the laboratory the Souls had held me hostage in for more than half a year. I was lying down on a metal table, I could feel the cold emitting through the sheet coursing through my body.

There was a ringing silence in the white room with the fluorescent lights. They were bright, so bright they hurt my eyes. I looked around me but there was no one else. There were no windows, just four white walls. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply through my nose, willing myself not to panic. The room is big enough, there's enough air to breathe in, I repeated this mantra again and again in my head to control my claustrophobia.

It worked, slowly, and then I was able to open my eyes.

There was a beeping sound and then a swooshing noise as a door opened to my right. I strained my neck to see who it was but couldn't tell. I felt, rather than heard, the person move around and heard a clinking of what I suspected were needles.

The person made their way to where I was and I was able to make out their features. My breathing stopped, my heart stopped. Everything stopped. I stopped being.

My mother stared back at me with silver ringed orbs circling her eyes and I woke up, turning on my side to throw up.

When I was done puking my guts out, I sat up shakily and pushed my sticky hair out of my face. I needed a shower, I decided.

I got up slowly and walked clumsily through the dark to the lake. I peeled off my clothes and jumped into the freezing lake. I came up for air, gasping loudly and quickly scrubbed my body to get clean. I finished fairly quickly and got out the lake, the air drying me off. My teeth were chattering from the cold and my mind was still reeling from my nightmare. No matter how many times I dreamed it, it still killed me. Because they weren't just nightmares; they were memories.

Memories from my time at the laboratory where they prodded me and poked me with needles with foreign substances. More of a torture chamber than a lab but the Souls said I was an experiment. They even stripped me of my name and called me "Test Subject 1: UnKnown".

I sat back down on the ground but didn't dare go back to sleep. I figured I got a good three hours rest anyway. I didn't sleep much these days. Couldn't really. Not with all the bullshit in my head.

So I sat there until the sun came up, making me guess it was about six o' clock. I gathered and packed my things and headed toward the path I've been following for weeks now, with no destination in mind. The farther away I was from civilization, the safer I was.

I walked aimlessly for hours, making sure not to think or feel or...do much of anything. I came to a stop when I saw that the forest cut off abruptly. I looked behind me in confusion. The forest was there but in front of me there was just...desert.

It was extremely weird but instead of doing the smart thing, say walking back into the shade of the trees, I continued out into the desert. It went on for miles, as far as I could see. It wasn't hot but maybe that was because it was still early morning. Although, I did notice it getting exceptionally hotter in the forest the more I walked.

I didn't think much of it at the time, but now I guessed it had to do with the desert being close by.

Hours passed by in excruciating heat and my water bottle was half full. Luckily I had an extra one in my pack but I wasn't sure how long that one would last. I looked behind me but couldn't see the forest anymore.

So I soldiered on, my shirt stuck to my sweaty back and my legs practically dragging me through the plain terrain. There wasn't anything to look at besides a dead crow I passed a couple miles back.

My muscles were bitching and aching, so I gave in and sat down on the hard ground. My stomach rumbled with hunger but I ignored it. What the hell was I thinking, coming into the desert with barely any resources? No food, a little bit of water and my pack which only had my journal in it.

I was going to die out here.

That didn't worry me as much as it should have. And there was my answer.

I didn't care if I died or lived or whatever. The only reason I was still alive was because I didn't have the strength to kill myself. Maybe, subconsciously, I walked through the desert is because there was a very good chance I was going to die.

I laughed out loud and the sound was a bit crazed but I didn't care. I haven't cared for a while. My life was shitty and I could only hope that the afterlife was a hell of a lot better.

Or that it didn't contain Souls.

So I gave up right then and there. I laid back down, ignoring the discomfort it caused me, and stared up at the blue cloudless sky. My brother and father were probably dead anyways. If they weren't they would have stayed at the underground camp back in Montana. They hadn't which could only mean one thing.

I lay there for a long time, long after it's dark. I stare up and see that the sky is splattered with stars. It's beautiful.

It is a beautiful way to die, I think to myself.

I close my eyes and thought of my life. I didn't do anything worthy or memorable. Then again, this wasn't a humans world anymore. So it wouldn't have mattered if I had. There isn't a breeze which makes me feel sad. I would have liked to feel the breeze on my face, one last time.

Maybe it's because I'm delirious from the heat or maybe I just want to remember the last memory that made me happy but when I open my eyes I'm back in my old room.

It looks just like I remember it; there are posters of all my favorite bands and actors covering every inch of my walls. There are also sticky notes posted everywhere with reminders of special events or appointments.

Beside my bed are a stack of my favorite books piled neatly, next to my favorite guitar.

I can barely make out the signature on it. I smile, remembering my first concert ever that Robert took me to when I was nine. There's a commotion outside my bedroom door and before I could open it, it opens and on the other side are my brother, father and mother. I breathe out shakily and feel a tear escape and slide down my cheek.

They don't seem to notice me. I see my mom carrying a birthday cake with the candles lit. I see my father sit down on the edge of the bed and realize there is a body in it.

Mine. It's the last birthday we celebrated as a family, when I was twelve.

They begin to sing "Happy Birthday" and I watch as my younger self groggily sits up and rubs her eyes in drowsiness. She scowls but when she sees the cake, it disappears replaced by a huge grin.

Younger me throws herself at Dad after the song and he catches her before she tumbles out of bed. He chuckles.

"Happy birthday, sweetie," he says and gives her a kiss atop of her head. She leaves his arms and goes and hugs Robert. He picks her up and twirls her around.

"Hey, Arly. You're getting big. I probably won't be able to pick you up anymore."

This causes younger me to pout.

"But I love it when you twirl me around." She was looking up at him with a puppy dog expression.

He sighs dramatically. "Okay, I'll make an effort. But you have to also. Which means you can't stuff yourself with cake." He's teasing but younger me takes it seriously.

She regards him solemnly and nods. "Okay, I promise to eat a little piece of cake."

My mother hits him on the arm. "He's kidding, Arlette. You can eat as much as you want and he'll still be able to twirl you around."

Younger me mouth sets into a thin line. "Promise?"

My brother smile. "Forever."

Then she smiles brightly and launches herself at my mother, causing the cake to fall to the floor. She grins innocently at them but I remember what I was thinking at that time. That they wouldn't do anything because it was my birthday and we had a rule that for those twenty four hours of said person's birthday, there were no rules. Nobody went to work or school and we did what the birthday person wanted, so long as it was within reason.

I'm smiling and crying at the same time as I watch the memory unfold before me. It's the last memory I remember being truly happy in.

After my mother got kidnapped (although we hadn't known that at the time) my life pretty much went to shit.

I was pulled out of my memory or hallucination or whatever the hell it was by a sound.

I jumped up and had my knife at the ready. My body protested at the sudden movement but I was in fight mode. My eyes hurt at the bright light and I didn't even have time to think that I actually slept through the night with no nightmares because of the blind panic I was in. I looked around for the threat but instead saw something entirely different from what I was expecting.

My knife dropped onto the ground with a clatter but I barely heard it. The earth seemed to have stopped moving along with my heartbeat.

There were a number of faceless strangers but there was only one person there I cared about seeing. I had to say his name to make sure I wasn't still dreaming or hallucinating.

Before I could say anything, he took a tentative step forward, his blonde hair shining in the sunlight. His brown eyes were wide with disbelief and barely contained hope.

"Arlette," he said in a choked whisper.

I tried to say something back, to confirm that I was Arlette I think, but instead I fainted.

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	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 : Jamie

I wasn't as focused on the game as I should have been, which is why I was knocked down when a body crashed into mine, sending us both sprawling onto the floor. A pained groan escaped me and I heard the other guy go into a tangent of explicit mumbled curses.

Kyle.

I'd know his lovely voice anywhere, especially when his vocabulary turned colorful.

"What the hell were you doing Jamie, just standing there?" he asked, standing and helping me up.

I dusted off my jeans and gave a noncommittal shrug. "I wasn't paying attention."

Kyle snorted. "You don't say. Well, get your head out of your ass and pay attention to the game."

I shook my head and tried to get back into the spirit of the game. My team lost and I headed to the kitchen for a snack. The only other person there was Robert.

He looked up at my entrance but otherwise stayed silent, twirling an apple in his hands. I grab a granola bar and taking a deep breath, sit next to him. I was planning on saying something but words failed me.

"Jamie right?" I gave a start when he spoke.

"Yes," I replied.

He nods and then doesn't speak again. I'm saved by the uncomfortable silence when a group of people come barreling into the kitchen. It's everyone from the game.

Melanie comes by and gives me a shoulder hug and a small smile for Robert which he returns a bit forced. Dude gets points for trying.

Soon, the kitchen is full of people and it gets pretty rowdy. I see Kyle dragging Sunny away from the chaos and smirk a bit. Kyle is extremely overprotective of Sunny and I have to wonder if it's because it's Jodie's body, which means Jodie might still be in there somewhere, or because he's grown fond of the Soul occupying her body.

Tom and Blake entered the room, signaling the end of their shift meaning it was Ian and Jared's turn to go on watch. They did and I watched them go before deciding last minute to follow. I grabbed an extra three granolas and quickly told Melanie where I was going.

She pressed her lips into a tight line but didn't say anything, just warned me to not fall off the cliff. I laughed and promised her I'd try not to. I caught up with both Ian and Jared at the end of the hall and we strolled down until the end of the cave, which had a small opening at the right which we went through.

A blast of heated air hit me in the face, although it was already dark out, the moment I stepped out into the blazing desert terrain. It was hotter than usual but then again, it's been a while since I've been out of the caves. It was late night, about to be dawn in a few hours.

We sat down and immediately, they both assaulted me with questions, mainly about how my "date" with Sarah went last night.

I didn't even try to correct them and tell them it was a study session; they were both hard headed fools.

"Nothing. We talked about the Pythagorean Theorem and what was Shakespeare's message in MacBeth," I said honestly.

"Really?" asked Ian, raising an eyebrow. "Because Wanda was just telling me that Sarah was talking with her earlier about how ecstatic she was that you had asked her out for a moonlit stroll to watch the stars or something like that."

Jared laughed loudly and obnoxiously drowning out my groan of disbelief.

"I did not!" I protested. That Sarah really was something else.

Jared snorted. "Sure. I don't know why you're trying so hard to hide the fact that you like her."

"That's because I'm not hiding it. I don't like her and I didn't ask her out. She asked me and I said no," I said with a bite in my voice. I took a deep breath and muttered, "Sorry."

"You know, lots of the most passionate relationships start with the two hating each other at first," said Jared diplomatically, as if he were an expert on relationships.

I snorted. "I don't hate her. I don't feel anything towards her; not hate, or love or whatever. It's like she's a stranger to me even though we talk sometimes. There's nothing about her that intrigues me or that captures my attention. She tells me all about her life and childhood and I don't remember it; not because I'm trying to hurt her by being mean or whatever but because I can't bother to remember. I don't even know her last name."

I hadn't meant to go on a little mini rant there but I was fed up with all the constant teasing. Ever since she arrived with Nate's group here, six months ago, they'd annoyed me with all their jokes about her crush on me.

I could tell I'd surprised them both, judging by the look of shock on their faces.

"Miller," said Ian after a beat of silence.

I looked at him in confusion and so did Jared.

"It's her last name," he clarified.

I didn't say anything. I looked out at the landscape before me and tried to take it all in. There wasn't really anything to look at, besides orange dirt. Or sand. Whatever you wanted to call it.

It was prettier to look at at nighttime. With all the stars and the night sky so black, it made the stars shine brighter. We sat around for a few hours, and talked about nonsensical things, punching jokes at each other.

I squinted my eyes, however, when I saw something pretty far out but not that far. It was covered in black. It didn't look like animal. Whatever it was, was stumbling around for a while and then it just dropped to the floor.

I reached for the binoculars, ignoring Jared's, "What is it?" and brought it up to my eyes. I looked around until I saw the black pile, of what I was beginning to suspect was a human. I zoomed the lens in until I saw that it was a human. A girl, to be specific.

I sucked in a surprised breath. We didn't get many people stumbling around so close here, the only person was Melanie and that was because she had had a Soul- Wanda- inside of her at the time who had guided her here.

Whoever this was, could mean danger. It could be a Soul, or worse a Seeker, that was looking for resistance and could have caught wind of our hidden living quarters.

I passed the binoculars to Jared. I pointed a finger out to the desert. "There," I whispered quietly.

He took a second to look and just like that, his carefree manner disappeared and his face hardened. Ian took the binoculars and had a look for himself. Like Jared, the change in his demeanor was instant. His eyes narrowed and he stood up.

I got up too, dusting my jeans.

"How do you think they found us?" Ian asked. "We've been careful, dammit!"

Even though I'd been thinking the same thing a minute ago, something suddenly occurred to me.

"What if it's not one of them?" I asked.

They both looked at me incredulously, which I couldn't blame them for. The possibility of a human walking through the desert and stumbling into us was pretty much nonexistent.

"Just hear me out," I continued. "Didn't Robert say his sister had black, long hair?"

I remembered his description of her and then the story he told us the other night. Where I went to bed thinking of a girl with black hair and green eyes, with a guitar.

"So?" asked Ian.

"What if that's her?"

They both simultaneously looked back towards the pile of black, which I figured were her clothes, and I could see the hesitation in them. I could see the indecision that warred on Jared's face before he nodded, seemingly to himself.

"We'll go slowly and check. But we're bringing a gun and I don't think we should tell either Robert or Alex," he decided.

"I think we should at least tell them," I protested. I remembered when Jared had withheld the truth of my sister and how angry I was at him afterwards.

"Maybe we should just tell Robert," Ian said.

"Why?" I asked, even though I had a pretty good guess as to why.

"Alex already seems so…," he hesitated and didn't finish his sentence but I knew what he meant. Fragile.

If it turned out it wasn't his daughter, we would have just gotten the man's hopes up and he was already so close to breaking. First he had lost his wife, and then his daughter. The only one that seemed to be holding him together was his son.

"So we just tell Robert," I said, decidedly.

They nodded and we gathered our things and headed back into the caves. I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings and thought of how Robert would react to this news. He was much more put together than his father but I didn't want to get his hopes up either.

But I knew telling him was better than omitting the truth. I prayed, to whatever God that was still out there, that it was her. It had to be her.

It wasn't fair to Robert and his Dad to continue suffering.

We entered the kitchen, and all talking immediately ceased. That could be because of the tension radiating off of both Ian and Jared.

"We need to have a meeting," said Jared, causing people to leave. The ones that stayed were the ones that made most decisions. It consisted of Jeb, Nate, Tom, Blake, Jared, Ian, Melanie and Wanda. I wasn't usually in these meetings but I was now.

"Robert, you should stay," Ian said quietly.

Robert paused and turned back, his eyebrows drawn in confusion. Alex stopped too and put a hand on his son's shoulder, almost protectively. It was the most alive I've seen from him since he'd came here.

"Why?" he asked, his eyes drifting from Ian's face to Jared's.

"He's not in trouble or anything," I said. "We just want to talk to him. Completely harmless."

"it's alright, dad," Robert said giving him a little smile. "They'd asked me the other day that they wanted me to consider being in the council. I said yes."

It was a lie, of course, but it decided Alex who left.

"What's going on?" Robert asked, understanding the severity of the issue.

Jared nor Ian answered, and then I realized they were waiting for me to explain.

"It was your idea," said Ian. "You get the honor of telling him."

I really didn't want to but they weren't really giving me a choice. Melanie was looking at me worriedly and I sent her a reassuring smile.

I cleared my throat and spared a look at Robert. "Um, well you see. We were out on watch and we...saw something."

I almost wanted to slap myself. I nearly did, when I saw Robert's understandably confused expression.

"There's a person out there," I blurted out in a single breath.

"Okay," he said slowly, still not getting it. "Do you guys need my help with that or what?"

"I think it's Arlette," I said quietly.

The change was instant. His face paled and he grabbed onto the table next to him for support as he held himself up.

"What?" he whispered. "How is that possible? What would she be doing all the way out here? How do you know it's her? You've never even seen her."

"I'm going off on the description you've given us," I said. Now, that I had told him, I was realizing what a stupid idea this was. We should have just gone without telling anyone.

What if it was a Soul? Or, I barely wanted to think it, what if it was her and she had a Soul in her? We could take the Soul out, thanks to Wanda who has told us the process of the procedure, but what if she was gone like Jodie? And Robert and his Dad would have to live like Kyle.

Robert was still gripping the edge of the table as if it were a life saver. Then he straightened up, standing rigidly his shoulders tensed. His face changed into one of determination and he nodded.

"Let's go," he said.

No one said anything so we followed him out of the kitchen and into the hallway. I followed and was glad when no one, like my sister, called me back to stay.

"Should we take the car?" asked Ian.

Jared shook his head. "No, she's pretty close."

"You're sure it's a girl?" asked Robert tightly. He ran his hand through his blond hair in frustration making it stick up messily.

"Yes," I answered.

Conversation ceased after that and we walked through the door that led outside. I saw Robert grab the binoculars and Jared pointed him in the direction where we saw whom we presumed was Arlette.

After a moment, Robert put the binoculars down and looked at me. I couldn't hold his stare and looked away.

"Can you tell if it's her?" asked Wanda gently.

He shook his head. "I can't tell. It could be, I mean she has black hair. But a lot of people have black hair."

He was trying not to get his hopes up, I realized. It made me feel that much more terrible about all this. I couldn't even remember why I wanted to tell him.

"If it's her," whispered Robert. "Then this will change everything."

His voice was too low for the others to have heard but I did since I was right next to him.

"What's it going to change?" I asked. This was the most I'd ever heard him speak and took advantage.

"My dad for one," he said sadly. I nodded.

"Me for another," he added. "And Burns."

"Burns?" I asked.

"They were close. And Burns blames himself for her kidnapping. Which is ridiculous since he wasn't even with her."

"So he blames himself because he wasn't there and if he had been, he probably could have saved her," I guessed.

"Yeah," said Robert. He was staring across the terrain, at the girl I assumed. I couldn't read the expression on his face.

There was barely contained hope mingled with frustration.

"We should have taken the car," he muttered. "Would have been faster."

That was true. But for one, we didn't want to waste gas. Besides, she was only about five miles out.

"Robert," said Wanda hesitantly. "I want to apologize."

"You don't have to apologize," said Ian sharply, seeming to instantly know what she was going to apologize for.

"For what?" asked Robert.

"The Souls invading Earth," she said softly.

Robert just shrugged. "I don't blame you."

Uncle Jeb had been quiet this whole time but now he spoke up.

"She doesn't seem to be moving," he pointed out.

We were a lot closer now and the details were easier to make out. Uncle Jeb was right; she was just laying there. I couldn't tell if she was even breathing.

Robert dropped the binoculars and ran.

"Shit," muttered Jared, going after him.

We all began to run. In the time it had taken us to walk, the sun had peeked up and was now bearing down on us, bringing with it rolls of heat.

When we reached the girl, Robert skidded to a stop and stared down at the girl. He didn't seem to be moving anytime soon so I walked closer to the girl.

She was pale, really pale. Like a corpse.

But she was breathing. And there was the weirdest smile on her face.

It wasn't happy, more like...accepting. What was she accepting?

My foot snapped a branch and quicker than I can process, the girl was up and off the ground with a knife in hand.

Her big green eyes struggled to make us out in the bright daylight. Her eyes roam across each of us and I suddenly feel as if I were the prey. There was something wild about this girl.

Wild and beautiful.

There was no denying it. Even with her clothes hanging loosely on her and raggedy looking, she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. There was also something haunting and sad about her. It was in her eyes, all that sadness; made her seem older than she was.

Her body froze when she found Robert. It seemed as an electric bolt went through her and her knife clattered to the ground. I considered grabbing it for a second but decided against it. I was pretty strong but there was just something about her that told me that she would kick my ass in a second if I went near her.

I heard Robert make a choking sound and turned to look at him, seeing his brown eyes wide with hope. He took a step forward and I turned to look at the girl, who I knew was Arlette by Robert's reaction.

"Arlette," he whispered quietly, his voice breaking at the end.

Arlette opened her mouth but before she said anything, she crumpled to the floor. I moved in an instant, faster than I ever had in my life, and caught her before her head could crack against the hard dirt floor.

She was light in my arms and then she was ripped away by another set of arms.

Robert.

He was staring down at her with a scared expression and pushed her hair out of her face.

"I think she's dehydrated," said Uncle Jeb, stepping forward to hand him a water bottle.

Robert looked up and took it from him gratefully. He hoisted Arlette higher into his arms and with his other hand, opened the water bottle and began dribbling water on her lips.

I realized, belatedly, that I was still on the ground and stood up slowly.

She didn't wake up at first but her lips did part and she started chugging down on the water. Then it was as if a flip switched and she stood up, almost falling down but Robert had a solid grip on her arm.

She stared at him with wide eyes.

"Robert?" she questioned, her voice sounding as if she hadn't used it in a while.

"Hey, Arly," he said gently.

She took a step away from him, out of his arms and he made a move to bring her back but she flinched. He noticed and dropped his arms, a frown forming on his face.

"Arly?" he asked.

She brought her arms around her stomach in a defensive way and looked away from him.  
"How'd you find me?" she asked.

"We moved from our last place and moved in with another rebel group that lives about five miles from here. We could see you from there," he explained.

She nodded and looked around at each of us. When her eyes rested on me, I found that I couldn't hold her stare. But I also couldn't look away.

I was still staring, long after she'd turned her stare towards her brother.

"Dad?" she questioned.

"He's fine," Robert answered quickly."He's back at the caves."

"Oh," she said. She looked at the ground and bent over to get her knife. She inspected it closely before putting it in her backpocket.  
"That ain't a safe spot for a knife, kid," Uncle Jeb advised.

She looked at him coolly before replying,"That's none of your business."

Uncle Jeb merely raised his eyebrows but remained quiet. Robert, however, frowned.

"He was just helping Arly," he said.

"Don't call me that," she whispered quietly. It sounded like a threat.

Robert stared at her in shock, his eyebrows drawing in together in confusion and hurt.

She walked closer to me and I stood still. When she got near me, she studied me her head tilting to the side, and again I was the prey and she the predator.

Then she bent down at my feet and retrieved her bag from the floor.

"What are you doing?" asked Robert, panic clear in his voice when she started to walk away.

"Leaving," she replied over her shoulder, not pausing in her strides.

Robert caught up to her in three strides and caught her wrist, turning her around.

"What the hell do you mean by 'leaving'?" he asked, understandably confused. I could see the others were too.

She wrenched her arm away and drew herself up straighter and taller.

"I mean that I am leaving and you are going back home to the caves or whatever," she said, with no emotion in her voice. She was detached, cold.

"Yes, I am. And you are coming with me.I don't understand, Arly. This is a great thing. I have you back and Dad is going to be so ecstatic."

She didn't say anything for a few minutes.

Then," I told you not to call me that."

"What's wrong with you?" asked Robert.

That seemed to hit a nerve with her as she stepped back with a flinch and a hurt look across her face that was immediately replaced with an expressionless one.

"I can't go with you," she said.

"The hell you can't!" he yelled. "You're my sister. And I finally have you back and I am not letting you go that easily. Why aren't you happy?"

I had to admit, this was all confusing to me too. I thought this would be a happy reunion.

Uncle Jeb apparently thought it was time to step in.

"Why don't we all just head back to the caves and talk this out?" he suggested, ever the diplomat.

"Great idea," replied Robert, looking pissed yet happy at the same time. It was a weird mixture of the two emotions.

"No," Arlette protested. "You can't tell me what to do or where to go. I lived by myself for a long time and survived. And if you don't mind, I'll like to go back to that life."

"Well, the thing is sweetie. My conscience won't allow me to leave a little girl out by herself in this kind of world," said Uncle Jeb.

Arlette looked outraged, whether it was because Jeb had called her a little girl or because he was practically forcing her to stay, I couldn't tell.

"Arlette, just please come back. I don't understand why you don't want to but I'll make you a deal. Just let Dad see that you're alright and then if you still wanna go, you can," Robert pleaded, and I saw that it killed him to say that. He didn't have any idea-hell, none of us did- about why she was so adamant in refusing to go.

I saw her face change for just a second into something softer and tender before she let out a big gust of air.

"That wouldn't be a good idea," she said slowly.

"And why not?" he asked, confused.

She just shook her head.

"You're still my sister. You've always been my sister and will forever be," Robert said, stepping forward and capturing her hands in his.

"I'll go," she decided, which for some reason sent a pleasurable shiver through me. I was glad she was coming.

Robert smiled brightly then and captured her in a hug, and in the sunlight shining down on them I thought I noticed a tear stream down her face. When he released her though, her cheeks were tearfree.

We all quietly began to walk back to the caves and I thought of this wild girl, Arlette, and knew that life in the caves as we knew it was going to change. Whether it was for worse or better, I couldn't tell.

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A/N: Next chapter up is Arlette and don't worry it will all get explained as to why she reacted this way. But don't worry, it won't go over the same scenes as this one. It'll start when they're back at the caves.


	5. Chapter 4

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**Chapter 4: Arlette**

If I was a good daughter, I wouldn't have agreed to Robert's terms and would have left. Hell, if I was a decent person I wouldn't have come. But I never could resist when Robert asked something of me and if I was being honest with myself, I wanted to see my dad. I had to see him. Even though I shouldn't.

I trekked along the terrain of the desert with Robert by my side and the others scattered around us in a circle. I kept my head towards the ground and clenched my hands into fists so I wouldn't hold onto Robert. His sudden appearance had caught me off guard.

And when I had woken up from my faint in his arms, I had been so exhilarated before reality came crashing down on me and I had put my defenses back up. I had jumped up and tried to leave, all the while the guilt was eating me alive. Looking into his eyes, so much like our mother's, practically killed me and I could hardly breathe.

I'd been alone so long, that I had grown accustomed to the numb feeling I was always in. And then Robert had found me and every feeling came crashing down on me all at once, crushing me with the weight of it all. I've never felt so alive, nor so empty at the same time.

Feeling absolutely overjoyed and also crippling depression and guilt at the same time were two contradicting feelings I never wanted to feel ever again.

Which is why I couldn't look into my brother's eyes without breaking down. I was already so fragile with all these emotions swirling around in me and I knew that I would completely break, if pushed past my limit. And I didn't want to find out what my limit was.

I got that sense you get when someone is staring at you, and against my will, I looked up and into the eyes of a dark brown eyed stranger. He looked away, with a faint blush tinting his cheeks, when I locked eyes with him. I continued staring at him though. He looked younger than the others, probably around my age. He had black hair that curled at the nape of his neck. It was pretty long and I wondered if he was growing it out or if they didn't have the resources to cut hair.

I reached a hand up to entwine my own hair around my finger. It was the first time I've ever had long hair. I usually kept it short, the longest I've ever had it was barely passing my neck. Now it reached mid-back and it was really thick and heavy. I found that I actually liked it.

"Hey, Arly?" Robert's soft voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I flinched and stopped walking. I really need to stop flinching, I thought.

But it was so weird hearing other voices after being alone for almost a year. Other than in my head, that is.

"Yes?"

"I...We've missed you, you know? Me, Dad and Burns. Even Sarah, although she won't admit it," he said, laughing a bit.

My heart clenched painfully at the mention of my father but I kept the emotion off my face. I've already shown more than necessary in front of these people and my brother. I had to leave and the only way possible was to show no emotion.

So I stayed quiet.

Robert's mouth opened and closed for a few seconds before decidedly closing it. There wwere no more conversations after that and we soon arrived at the caves. There was an opening in between some huge rocks and I saw that it curved downward. I stopped and took a deep breath, centering myself. I needed to get over my claustrophobia.

Robert, knowing all about my claustrophobia, reached out and took my hand in his and I couldn't pull away even though I should have. I clutched his hand tightly and walked forward into the darkness of the caves.

The only sounds were the footsteps we all made. We emerged seconds later into a grand field of crops. I wondered how it was all able to grow and got my answer a second later when I looked up and saw the reflecting mirrors. That was pretty impressive, I had to admit.

One of the members of the group, an older man with a white beard, saw me looking and grinned.

"Figured that out myself," he said.

He was looking at me expectantly, so I said, "It's nice."

He looked a bit disappointed by my answer but I didn't know what he wanted me to say.

There were a few people out in the fields, none I recognized. A woman, with gray hair, stopped what she was doing and stared at us. Well, more accurately, at me.

Her eyes narrowed and she shouted from across.

"Another soul?" she sounded pissed.

"Look with your eyes, not your blind hatred Magnolia," the older man said.

When we neared, the woman came forward and snatched my face between her hands. My body tensed and I reacted without thinking. Danger! My mind screamed at me. I was back in the laboratory, with countless of Souls running after me as I escaped. My mind spun with chaos.

I had her on her back before I fully processed my actions. When I did, I let go of her arm and took a step back. It didn't matter because I was soon ensnared in strong arms, restricting me. The only thing that stopped me from attacking was the familiar feel of his arms.

My body was still tensed, ready to attack at a moments notice.

"Damn, is she alright?" I heard someone ask. There was a ringing in my ears and someone was breathing loudly.

"I'm fine," the old woman said, getting up and ignoring the help of the others. After she had dusted herself off, she turned to look at me and I subconsciously clenched my fists.

"You've got spirit, I'll give you that," she told me.

She continued looking at me but wisely kept her distance. I felt like a trapped animal. A wild lion, who is meant to be roaming the jungles, trapped in a metal cage.

"Slow your breathing, Arly," Robert reminded me in my ear. It was then that I realized the harsh and loud breathing belonged to me.

I took a deep breath and he slowly let me go but held my hand. He rubbed soothing circles on the back of my hand and I relaxed. I let go and looked around, seeing a mixture of strangers staring at me warily or with shock. I felt like a circus freak.

"Well, you should go and get your father."

It was the older man with the Santa Claus beard. He was looking at me differently. More suspiciously.

"I will," Robert said, stepping away.

I didn't want him to go but forced myself to nod. He left and I looked back at the strangers.

"I think introductions are in order," said the older man after some time.

"Name's Jeb," he said, holding out his hand.

I looked at his hand and then back up at him. I nodded and after a while he dropped his hand. The others went around, introducing themselves as I nodded absently. I wasn't going to be staying long so it didn't matter if I learned their names or not. No one else tried to shake my hand.

When it got to the boy with the chocolate brown eyes and curly black hair, I suddenly became attentive. I don't know why, though. There was just something about him.

"I'm Jamie," he said in a quiet voice. Then, he took a step forward and offered me his hand.

I didn't take it. I couldn't. I was only comfortable with Robert touching me because he was my brother and even then, it was difficult. When he dropped his hand looking disappointed, I felt guilty.

It's not you, I wanted to say. But I stayed quiet.

Everyone else was murmuring conversations with other people that were coming by to see who I was. I didn't try to listen in on what they were saying. I was just waiting for Robert and my dad.

I tuned out and went into my head, the world dissolving around me as I lost myself in my thoughts. I remembered when I had first escaped the Souls and I immediately started my search for my brother and dad. I was sick and confused and scared and lost and I wanted-no, needed my family. My first few weeks out, I slowly started to come to and I stopped searching for them. I couldn't see them. How could I? After what I'd done?

I didn't even deserve to live.

So I stopped searching until I just had to find them, just to make sure that they were alright. I had to know if they were alive. But I never planned on approaching them, much less staying. I only wanted to make sure that they were alive and well and I would have let them be.

A flash of golden hair whipped me out of my thoughts. It was Sarah and she was standing in front of me, with her hands on her hips.

I sighed, hoping that she wasn't going to start a scene right now. After all I'd been through, I didn't have the time or energy to deal with her.

"Never thought I'd see you. I thought you had died," she said bluntly.

I almost smiled. We never hated each other, but we didn't really like each other either. Our contrasting personalities clashed too often.

"Sadly no. I'm still here. But don't worry, I'll be out of here soon," I said.

She narrowed her eyes at me suddenly.

"You're leaving?" she asked in confusion. "What about your brother and dad?"

I didn't bother to answer. I didn't owe her an explanation.

"What about Burns?" she asked with a bite in her voice. I looked at her and saw the tiniest bit of pain flash in her eyes.

She still wasn't over it.

I didn't get to answer because at that moment, Robert returned with my dad and Burns. My breath caught in my throat and suddenly the world was tilted on its axis and I was on the edge, barely holding on. My dad looked different; older and more tired. He had white streaks in his hair where before he didn't.

Burns, on the other hand, looked the same. Since I knew him so well, I could see the strain in his eyes. His eyes roamed over me in a protective way and he took a step forward, then stopped, and looked back at my dad.

My dad was still staring at me, with his eyes wide and mouth agape. My throat was bone dry and my eyes were stinging with oncoming tears. I blinked rapidly.

I would not cry. This had to be emotionless and quick. I had to leave. Soon.

"Arly," he choked out in a broken sob.

My heart thudded painfully in my chest, but on the outside, I kept my expressions cool.

"Dad," I said stiffly.

He took three steps forward and had me wrapped in his arms and crushed me to him. Strangely, it felt like I was breathing for the first time in months, even though he was hugging me hard enough to cut off my air. I gingerly wrapped my arms around him, my chest constricting with the weight of love and guilt I was feeling. I was a horrible person; I made the Souls seem decent.

I squeezed him tighter and then let him go. I take a step back and I see confusion cross his features and he looks at Robert. My brother shakes his head and my dad nods.

"Hey Arlette," said a low and familiar voice.

I look to see Burns with a small smile on his face. His orange hair is sticking up, looking messy, instead of the impeccably neat style he usually has it in.

"Burns," I replied quietly.

He steps forward and I hold my breath and then he's hugging me close, and my head lays on his chest for a fraction of a second before I pull back and out of his arms. He kisses me lightly on the top of my head. My body tenses and I suddenly feel cold.

I can't stay here, I tell my self. I repeat it like a mantra, a prayer. An omen.

I take four steps back. I cross my arms over my stomach and hold myself together tightly. A hand touches my shoulder and I flinch slightly. It's just Robert, though.

"You must be exhausted. Why don't you go lie down? You can have my bed." He's already pushing me toward the direction of his room. I want to cry.

Instead, I do the right thing. I balk and wrench my arm away from him. I don't look at him or anyone else as I say the next words.

"I already told you I was going to leave once I saw dad." My voice sounds cold and detached. Good.

"Where are you gonna go?" Robert's voice is loud and it echoes off the walls. Finally, he's angry.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair, frustrated.

"Robert, you promised." My voice is still hard but there was a bit of a waver in it. I don't think he noticed though. I look up and see that he's fuming.

"Dammit Arlette! I don't understand! Make me understand."

His voice is desperate and his eyes are pleading. I'm so tired and I just want to fall in his arms and have him take care of me like he used to, but I'm not that little girl anymore. I'm not his little good sister anymore. I'm not sure I ever was.

"I don't have to," I said, and this time my voice is lower and dangerous.

He looks at me and it's different. He's not looking at me like he knows me; he's staring at me as if I were a stranger.

"Arly," Burns said. "What's going on? Why don't you want to stay?"

All these questions are making my head spin. I close my eyes and take a long, deep breath. I open them and look straight at my dad. I want to die for what I'm going to say to him but it's necessary. I have to do this even though it doesn't make up for what I've done.

"You have to let me go. Because if you hold me here against my will, I swear to whatever God that is still out there, I will make every second that I am here unbearable for everyone until you are forced to kick me out."

"Arlette," Robert whispers, horrified.

But I'm not paying him any mind. I'm staring at my dad and I see his heart break in his eyes and mine dies a little further but I don't look away.

"I always knew you were a cold bitch but this is too far," Sarah said and takes a step forward.

I snapped my head towards her and give her a glare that stops her right in her tracks.

"Take one more step and I'll kill you where you stand with my bare hands," I snarled in a menacing voice. I don't know if I meant it or not. All I know is that I have to leave. Right. Now.

Her eyes widen in fear and jaw drops open in shock. Robert puts a hand on my elbow, to restrain me or assure me, I don't know. I look around, ignoring the looks from everyone, and try to find the exit. I have to leave. I can't stay here. I'm a monster.

A new person joins the group and when I see his white robe, my blood freezes and I go still. I'm thrust back into the hell that's been my life for the past year. There are Souls all around me in long, white flowing robes with needles in their hands, jamming it into my arms. Sometimes the liquid they injected me with burned me and made me scream out in agony. Other times, it made me hallucinate all types of things that I have almost taught myself to forget about; they only haunt me in the night when I fall asleep.

And sometimes, the liquid made me feel nothing at all. Sometimes, that was the worst one.

"Arly, hey Arly. Honey, what is it? What's wrong?" Burns voice brings me back to the caves.

Now everyone is staring at me in surprise instead of fear.

"Honey, you're shaking. What's wrong?"

I'm not shaking, is on the tip of my tongue. But I can't make my throat sound out the words. I look at my hands and see that they are, in fact, shaking. I'm trembling, from the inside out. I look up at Burns and his eyebrows are drawn in concern.

"Maybe you should bring her back to the infirmary," the doctor says.

I take a shaky step back. Burns still has a grip on me.

"No," my voice comes out low and harsh, as if I had just run a marathon. No no no no no. This cannot be happening again. They're human, not Souls. But then again, I should know

firsthand that humans can be monsters.

"I have to leave," I hate that my voice sounds weak but the doctor's presence threw me off balance. I can't even look at him because I really will lose it then. I'll break and I've managed not to so far and I'm not going to mess that up now.

"Not in this condition," Robert says in a no nonsense tone.

"Robert, please." My voice breaks at the end and I hate it.

A movement at the edge of my eye catches my attention and I see that a young guy is giving the doctor something and whispering in his ear. I can't hear what he says though.

"Maybe you could stay for the night and go in the morning when you feel better?" It was Wanda, looking at me with wide eyes that shone with something that seemed like sympathy.

I shouldn't, I shouldn't, I'm going to go to hell, I'm a horrible person, a monster, no no no no no no.

"Okay," my voice is barely audible, but in all honesty, I'm tired. No, it's more than that. I'm exhausted. Of everything.

"Great, you can sleep in my room on my bed."

Robert looks like someone just told him the secrets of the world and the purpose of life.

"I can give you something to help you sleep better," the doctor suggests, holding up a syringe.

And just like that, the tiny grip I had on my sanity is shattered and I'm not sure where I am anymore. I see Souls, and medicine, and needles and metal beds and I don't want it. I want it to stop. Please stop.

I'm also in the caves with the doctor looking at me expectantly and my brother smiling ridiculously but I only see the needle and it seems to be growing and no no no no no.

I start screaming. I drop to my knees and just beg someone, anyone to make it stop, all of it, why doesn't it stop?

I am screaming for my dad and my brother and Burns but mostly for my mother because she's never coming back and it's all my fault, my stupid stupid fault.

"MAKE IT STOP!" I scream but no one is answering my prayer, my plea, because it doesn't stop, it's not stopping, it'll never stop.

I just want it to stop.

I'm still screaming when I feel the jab of a needle and the darkness that envelops me is almost enough. But not quite.

Because I know I will wake up in the morning and I don't want to but I never get what I want.

**A/N: Sorry this update is late. I was on vacation and it was crazy. I didn't have anytime to my self. Anyways, what did you guys think of the last few paragraphs that happened at the end here? I tried to write it in a sort of insane way and want your guys' thoughts on how I did? Or just tell me your thoughts on anything really?**

**Please read and review.**

**Ohh, and I hope everyone had a great time on the holidays. **


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